http://www.ucccoalition.org/programs/ona/start/
Ground
Rules for Christians in Dialogue
Creating a Space for
Deep Listening and Sharing
Please
Listen
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Revised 4/22/12
ONA (Open and
Affirming) Process Outline, Phippsburg UCC
Ad Hoc Meeting 1 (Two
parts – July 20 and Sept. 6). Expectations and Ground Rules. Boundaries.
Information Sharing. Make changes to the outlined schedule (such as adding
other sessions, etc.).
Congregation Meeting 1
(Sept.
18 during worship). Present the ONA process outline, the Ad Hoc
Committee members, the small groups, etc. Speak to the question, ‘why are
we doing this?’ What about other disadvantaged groups, e.g. the physically
and mentally disabled, people of color, etc. What might be the outcome of
this process? Where the Ad Hoc Committee’s ongoing work will be available.
Ad Hoc Meeting 2 (Sept. 18
after worship). Introducing the Subject and Ourselves. Perform exercise,
‘why did we choose this church.’
Worship
(Oct. 9): How
we read the Bible - 1
Worship (Oct.
16): How we read the Bible - 2
Ad Hoc Meeting 3. (Oct.
20) Watch film A Fish out of Water and discuss what does the Bible say?
Small Group Meeting 1
(To be completed by Thanksgiving).
Watch and discuss film ‘Fish Out of Water.’ An Ad
Hoc Committee member will be at each small group meeting.
Worship (Oct.
23): The Bible and Homosexuality - Hebrew Bible Edition (Congregational
Meeting after this service at which point we might solicit feedback on the
ONA process. We will also vote on the 2012 budget at this meeting.)
Worship
(Nov. 6): The Bible
and Homosexuality - What Would Jesus Do? Edition Eucharist.
Worship
(Nov. 13): The Bible
and Homosexuality - Paul and Co. Edition
Ad Hoc Meeting 4 (Jan. 15
after worship) - Attitudes about sexuality.
Feedback session (Feb. 12
after worship)
Ad Hoc Meeting 5. How
welcoming is our church? How do we welcome people from minority races, all
economic groups, with physical and mental disabilities? (Feb. 13, 6 pm)
Ad Hoc Meeting 6.
Understanding sexual orientation. (Feb. 26 after worship)
Worship:
Sharing Stories I
Small Group Meeting 2.
Sharing personal stories about LGBT people we know.
Ad Hoc Meeting 7. Sexism,
heterosexism, homophobia (March 18)
Ad Hoc Meeting 8. Family
and relationships (April 22)
Ad Hoc Meeting 9. Youth
and GLBT issues (Wed., May 16, 6 pm)
Congregation Meeting 2.
ONA process mid-term update; where are we? Opportunity for feedback. (May
20)
Worship:
The Biblical patterns of marriage and family
Ad Hoc Meeting 10. Debrief
on feedback session and discuss How Welcoming Are We?
Worship:
Sharing Stories II
Ad Hoc Meeting 11.
Bisexual issues
Worship:
David and Jonathan and David and Bathsheba
Small Group Meeting 3.
Watch and discuss film ‘Call Me Malcolm.’ An Ad
Hoc Committee member will be at each small group meeting.
Ad Hoc Meeting 12.
Transgender Issues.
Ad Hoc Meeting 13.
Marriage Equality.
Ad Hoc Meeting 14. GLBT
clergy.
Ad Hoc Meeting 15.
Collateral damage and unintended consequences.
Congregation Meeting 3.
Ad Hoc Committee’s presentation of DRAFT conclusions and recommendations.
Opportunity for feedback.
Ad Hoc Meeting 16. Wrap
up. Conclusions & Recommendations. Draft ONA statement for submission to
whole congregation.
Congregation Meeting 4.
Conclusions and recommendations to whole congregation
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Our Stories
Sandy Stenquist ONA story.pdf
Helene Thomas ONA story.pdf
Note: These stories are published in Adobe Acrobat (.pdf)
format.
If you do not have Adobe Acrobat Reader, you can download it here
for free . . . http://www.adobe.com/downloads/
Click on "Get Adobe Reader"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Minutes of meetings
Phippsburg Congregational Church (UCC)
ONA Ad Hoc Committee
Minutes of Meeting, July 20, 2011
Present: Sally Gray, Heather Hietala, Beth Hood, Berenice Knight, Joannie
Krohn, Dill Paiste, Bob Reyes, Ann Schroeder, and Mark Wilson (ex officio)
At this first meeting of the ONA Ad Hoc Committee, Berenice opened the
gathering at 6:00 p.m. with a prayer. Bob Reyes introduced himself and
Berenice Knight as co-chairs of this group. Because Bob will be doing some
international travel this coming year, he will need to miss
several meetings and Berenice will coordinate those. As co-chairs, Bob and
Berenice will focus on active listening, keeping the group on track and
moving forward, honoring the time commitment, and summarizing our
discussions.
The group shared a pot-luck meal and introduced ourselves one by one,
explaining a bit about our personal stories, what drew us to participate on
this committee, what experience or knowledge we have with LGBT issues, and
what hopes or fears we have about the process.
While each of us shared our unique stories, some common threads emerged:
that in this process we come to see the humanity of all, that we conduct an
open process that includes the wide range of voices and opinions in our
congregation, that we keep Jesus at the center of our process, and that we
learn and grow together. As Berenice so aptly stated, "if you're not green
and growing, you're brown and dead." We noted how open and trusting our
church family was with one another, and how this will form the glue that
will keep us together as we move forward with a process whose end we cannot
know.
Time constraints did not allow us to complete the agenda, but we discussed
briefly the outline of the ONA process and agreed to come to the next
meeting with thoughts about the draft and ideas for additional sessions, if
any. We also agreed that we would discuss the ground rules and boundaries
and how information will be shared with the larger congregation.
Since many of us have vacations set for August, the next meetings will take
place in September: Tuesday, September 6, 6 pm (no pot-luck this time), and
Sunday, September 18, immediately following worship; both meetings in the
Linden Tree Meeting House, lower level.
Mark led a closing prayer and the meeting adjourned at 8:30 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
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Phippsburg Congregational Church (UCC)
ONA Ad
Hoc Committee
Minutes
of Meeting, September 6, 2011
Present: Sally Gray,
Heather Hietala, Berenice Knight, Joannie Krohn, Dill Paiste, Bob Reyes,
Chuck Saufler, Ann Schroeder, Tina Tucker and Mark Wilson (ex officio)
Bob opened the gathering
at 6:00 p.m. with a prayer. At each meeting a different member of the group
will lead the prayers. Tina Tucker and Chuck Saufler introduced themselves
to the larger group since they had not been able to attend the first meeting
in July.
Bob led a discussion of
the three hand-outs on ground rules, boundaries, and listening and sharing
guidelines. We noted especially the emphasis on listening to each other,
using I statements, appreciating differences, respecting confidentiality and
delighting in each other. We agreed to speak from our own experience and to
check with each other if we believe the process is not being followed
appropriately. Links to the three hand-outs will be on the church website
under ONA.
On the topic of
information sharing, we agreed that the minutes after each meeting would be
posted on the church website with a hard copy available in the narthex. We
emphasized how important it is to have as transparent a process as possible.
We spent the remainder of
the meeting discussing the outline of the process. We shared suggestions for
additional topics to study. Bob will prepare a revised outline including
the addition of several sessions for the committee as well as three meetings
for the entire congregation. The layered format includes congregational
gatherings, small group sessions in people’s homes, ad hoc committee
meetings, and opportunities for faithful dissent either in small groups with
committee members or individually with the pastor. We agreed that a large
congregational session should take place soon and chose September 18 during
worship as the best opportunity. Chuck Saufler will assist in creating an
exercise for this gathering. The focus will be on introducing the subject to
the congregation, introducing Ad Hoc committee members, and furthering an
understanding of why we have entered into the ONA process.
Upcoming meetings for the
Ad Hoc committee:
September 18 (Sunday)
after worship
October 20 (Thursday) 6
p.m.
Bob led a closing prayer
and the meeting adjourned at 8:00 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phippsburg Congregational Church (UCC)
ONA Ad
Hoc Committee
Minutes
of Meeting, September 18, 2011
Present: Sally Gray,
Heather Hietala, Beth Hood, Berenice Knight, Joannie Krohn, Dill Paiste, Bob
Reyes, Chuck Saufler, Ann Schroeder, Tina Tucker and Mark Wilson (ex
officio)
Mark led the group in an
opening prayer at 11:00 a.m.
The group discussed the
Intro to ONA session that had just taken place during worship and feedback
we received. Several mentioned that a number of people expressed support for
the process and that they appreciated the introduction. A few shared
concerns that had been expressed to them. Two people mentioned to a
committee member that they were concerned that a mother and son (visitors)
left worship during the heterosexual quiz. A few mentioned to another
committee member that they would like clarification of the word affirm.
One committee member noted that some people expressed concern about the
possibility of the ONA process leading to divisiveness. Feedback, on the
whole, was positive and it appeared folks saw the humor in the exercise. The
group agreed that other topics – such as welcoming folks with hearing
disabilities or welcoming divorced folks who return to church, etc. – will
be important to address. Chuck reiterated that each time we hold a large
group session we will need to remind the congregation why we are doing the
ONA process (continue to address the question of aren’t we already
affirming?) and we will need to reiterate what “affirming” means.
The group briefly
discussed the background materials on the history of the ONA process in the
wider UCC body and a piece on one mother’s personal experience with her
church when her son came out. We distributed the What’s Your Opinion
exercise for folks to take home. We noted the important point that the
larger UCC body speaks to us and not for us.
We spent the majority of
the meeting sharing our own reasons for choosing this church. Reasons
included feeling welcome, finding a sense of community here, appreciating
Mark’s messages and his skills, finding an outlet for social justice
interests, and finding a place that draws together people to worship God
from all walks of life, political views, and theological understandings.
Last, the group handled
some logistical questions. Small group assignments will be refined in the
next week. Each group will have at least one ONA Ad Hoc member who will
coordinate a meeting of the group to view the film Fish out of Water before
Thanksgiving. Discussions in the small groups will be facilitated by a
structured response that Chuck will help us formulate. Faithful dissent
sessions will include opportunities to meet with the pastor and
opportunities to meet with the Ad Hoc group, or a sub-section of us. The
committee will finalize how we handle faithful dissent at our next meeting.
Bob reiterated his strong
belief that our process continues to be transparent and open to all, a view
shared by the entire committee.
Next meeting:
October 20 (Thursday) 6
p.m.
Bob led a closing prayer
and the meeting adjourned at 12:40 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phippsburg Congregational Church (UCC)
ONA Ad
Hoc Committee
Minutes
of Meeting, October 20, 2011
Present: Sally Gray,
Heather Hietala, Berenice Knight, Chuck Saufler, Ann Schroeder, Tina Tucker
and Mark Wilson (ex officio)
Heather Hietala led the
group in an opening prayer.
Berenice presented a few
updates. Both Beth Saufler and Joannie Krohn have decided not to remain on
the Ad Hoc Committee because of other commitments. Mark shared comments
from two people who have expressed concerns to him about the ONA process.
One person feels that our church has always been accepting of everyone and
that engaging in the ONA process is divisive. He believes that the ONA
process is straining the covenant we have with each other, that the Ad Hoc
committee is loaded with folks with one viewpoint, and that as a church we
should be more concerned with attracting young families. The other person
said he does not feel that he is being heard and that the ONA process is not
needed. Sally also presented a concern she has heard about divisiveness of
any vote taking related to ONA.
In response to these
concerns, the Ad Hoc committee agreed to get the word out that others are
welcome to join the committee. If you feel you are not being heard, please
join us on the Ad Hoc committee. We have room for more members. This is a
process. The goal of the process is to develop a statement around which we
can build consensus; the committee does not favor a vote at the end of the
process. Our only agenda in the Ad Hoc committee is to hear all voices and
to learn together.
The group then watched the
documentary, Fish Out of Water, and engaged in the circle exercise that the
small groups will undertake in the next month. Chuck Saufler led the circle
exercise that included time for everyone to share thoughts about the film.
Since small group sessions
and worship topics will cover the next parts of the ONA process, the Ad Hoc
committee agreed to meet next in January – on Sunday, January 15, after
worship (11:15-ish) in the LTMH.
The meeting adjourned at
8:30 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phippsburg Congregational
Church (UCC)
ONA Ad Hoc Committee
Minutes of Meeting,
January 15, 2012
Present: Sally Gray,
Heather Hietala, Beth Hood, Berenice Knight, Dill Paiste, Leigh Preston, Bob
Reyes (via Skype), Chuck Saufler, Ann Schroeder, Tina Tucker and Mark Wilson
(ex officio)
Beth led the group in an
opening prayer at 11:30 a.m.
Berenice reviewed the
agreements used in the circle exercise from November as a reminder for us
all. She then asked each member to introduce herself/himself since the
committee was welcoming Leigh to her first meeting. As we introduced
ourselves, we shared our personal reasons for participating on the ONA Ad
Hoc Committee.
Since the topic of this
meeting was “Attitudes about Sexuality,” the group explored via a
brainstorming exercise why it might be challenging to talk about sexuality
in church. Some reasons include fear, culturally transmitted stereotypes
that may have taught us that talking about sexuality is “bad,” a disconnect
between the over sexualization in society and messages to not talk about
sexuality, gender stereotyping, and privacy/discretion issues. We discussed
the cheapening of sexuality in the wider society. We noted that the
doctrine of Original Sin has been the source of so much shaming around our
bodies and our functions. Using code words for sexuality or for parts of
the body highlights the general discomfort that exists in talking about
bodies or sexuality. Ultimately, exploring the issue of talking about
sexuality in church raises the question of who has the power to put a name
on something and make that name stick. Who decides what is normative,
thereby having other behaviors deviant?
The brainstorming session
led into a discussion of body/soul duality that much of the reading for this
meeting covered. In the excerpt from Matthew Fox’s book, Original
Blessing, Fox suggests that the body is not separate from the spirit;
the body is in the soul, not the other way around. Fox explains that
humility is embracing our own earthiness. While we might focus on either
our “good” spiritual natures or our “bad” physical natures, we are
in fact all one thing, with both spiritual (not necessarily good) and
physical (not necessarily bad) dimensions.
We
exist as integrated human beings. As one of us noted, they are two sides of
the same coin; there is only one coin.
We focused much of our
discussion on overcoming these body/soul dualities and understanding the
assumptions that we each carry. All the readings made the point that we
understand Jesus to be God incarnate, literally, God’s embodiment.
In the Theology of Embodiment excerpt, the authors, Morrison and
Morrison, state that living fully is living with passion and that we must
have passion to have compassion. Justice comes when we have compassion:
“God’s love is a love that longs for right relationships between persons.”
The group then discussed
feedback we have received both in the small group sessions (Fish Out of
Water viewings) and elsewhere. Approximately 30 people attended one of
the small group meetings. Mark has met with several members of the
congregation who have concerns about ONA in general and about the ONA
process specifically. And he is grateful for those folks who are speaking
honestly and openly with him. Mark has also received emails from two people
outside the church. One came from a man seeking an ONA church to attend with
his family. This person stated that ONA churches are likely to draw more
young families because young families are often looking for churches that
have a justice focus. The other email came from a minister who is critical
of homosexuality. There was general agreement that we have received
feedback of all types, but that many folks have expressed appreciation for
the deliberate process and the opportunity to explore this issue. There
will be an open session after worship on February 12 for anyone to bring
feedback – good, bad or indifferent – to the members of the Ad Hoc
Committee.
In addition to the
February 12 meeting, the next meetings for the ONA Ad Hoc Committee are set
for Monday, February 13, at 6 pm in LTMH for Session #5 and Sunday, February
26, after worship for Session #6. Beth Hood offered a closing prayer and the
meeting adjourned at 1:15 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phippsburg Congregational
Church (UCC)
ONA Ad Hoc Committee
Minutes of Feedback
Session, February 12, 2012
Present: Sally Gray, Beth
Hood, Heather Hietala, Berenice Knight, Leigh Preston, Chuck Saufler, Ann
Schroeder, Tina Tucker and Mark Wilson (ex officio)
Berenice Knight opened the
meeting by reading “Please Listen to Me” by Dr. Neil Chadwick.
The committee gathered
after worship to hear feedback from five members of the congregation.
Additionally, three shared feedback with committee members before worship.
Of these three, one shared her feeling that she is 100% in favor of becoming
an Open and Affirming Church and that she is pleased we are in the process.
One thinks we are already open and affirming and one felt the process was
unnecessary.
The five who spoke with
the committee offered a variety of views. These included:
-
Support for the process
and an understanding of what it feels like to be the misfit, the one not
included.
-
Support for the process
because this is a generational issue and the younger generation often seeks
churches that explicitly welcome all.
-
Concern that a vote on an
ONA statement would create winners and losers Fear some folks might leave
the church if we declare ourselves to be ONA. If there is going to be an
ONA Statement, a way should be found to adopt it by consensus.
-
Concern that if we do
not
declare ourselves to be an ONA church, we will lose folks. We may exclude
those who wish to come here and this may keep us from growing and thriving.
-
Recognition that churches
that are not welcoming to LGBT folks are explicit about it; why would those
of us who are welcoming not be equally explicit about that welcome?
-
Support for reaching out
to youth, in particular, so that LGBT youth never feel marginalized.
-
Feeling that we already
are small “ona” – we are already a welcoming church, - so why do we need to
become “big” ONA, to make a statement, declare ourselves ONA to a wider
world?
-
Interest in the process
and appreciation of the education and dialogue. A wish for more information
to be in the church bulletin.
-
Concern that the ONA
process was started and is being driven by folks newer to the church who
lack an historical perspective on the church’s life, or that it is being
driven by the Maine Conference UCC or national UCC. We are happy with the
way things are. Why rock the boat?
-
Interest in greater
understanding about the origin of the ONA process in our church and the goal
of the committee’s work.
-
Desire for clear
communication from the committee.
The committee commended
the courage and candor of the speakers and thanked folks for sharing so
respectfully and openly. There will be other opportunities for feedback.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phippsburg Congregational
Church (UCC)
ONA Ad Hoc Committee
Minutes of Meeting,
February 13, 2012
Present: Sally Gray,
Heather Hietala, Berenice Knight, Dill Paiste, Leigh Preston, Bob Reyes
(via Skype), Chuck Saufler, Ann Schroeder, Tina Tucker and Mark Wilson (ex
officio)
Ann offered an opening
prayer at 6:00 p.m.
Berenice asked for
debriefing on the feedback session that took place after worship the day
before. Heather outlined the general comments shared by the five who
offered feedback (see notes from February 12).
The group discussed
follow-up to this feedback with these actions:
-
There will be a note in
the bulletin each time the ONA Ad Hoc Committee minutes are available.
-
Minutes will continue to
be available in the narthex and online.
-
All are welcome at
meetings.
-
The group welcomes
suggestions of how to communicate information about the ONA process.
Some of the feedback the
committee heard related to issues of identity and proclamation: if we are
already open and affirming, why would we not say we are? One committee
member noted that just as our country started with the Declaration of
Independence and then needed a Constitution and a Bill of Rights, so must we
continue to expand how we welcome people and specifically how we state this
welcome. Another noted that welcoming must also be witnessing and that an
implicit message is not always explicit. A third talked about the
evolution in understanding that words such as “mankind” and “he” do not feel
inclusive to many women. These are examples of how we sometimes assume
groups of people feel included, when in fact they do not feel included – and
may not, in fact,
be
included – unless we state so explicitly in a way these groups can hear and
know they are welcome.
We remembered that the ONA
process grew organically in our church from the Deacons through the Council.
This motion passed the Council in May:
“We propose that the
Church undertake an exploratory process to investigate the possibility of
adopting an Open-and-Affirming statement that best represents our
congregation; a process that will involve a period of education, meditation,
prayer, and discussion, and may culminate in the draft of a statement that
the congregation will either vote to accept, amend or decline. An ad hoc
committee would be gathered to guide the process, work with small groups,
and disseminate information to the wider congregation.”
While the outline and many
of the materials come from the UCC, the Ad Hoc Committee has developed our
own Phippsburg UCC process that includes many sessions of our own design.
We remain open to additions to the process. In no way is the ONA process
mandated or orchestrated by any group except by members of our own
congregation. The UCC is not a hierarchical church, there is no central
authority. It exists in different settings: national, state, county (in
Maine), and local. These settings exist in a covenantal relationship. Each
setting speaks to, but not for, the others. Even so, we are called to honor
the other settings and to consider what they say to us, or ask us to
consider. The wider church is a conversation partner on the important
issues of the day, but it cannot (and does not) dictate any mandates to
local churches. Mark clarified that the UCC’s Still Speaking campaign (from
seven or eight years ago) is the origin of the ‘no matter who you are or
where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here’ statement that is
central to many of us.
The committee agreed that
the actual ONA process matters and that our goal is to have such a thorough
and inclusive process that an ONA statement writes itself.
We addressed the differing
concerns we heard in the feedback session. Some folks who gave us feedback
thought that declaring ourselves to be an Open and Affirming church may harm
the church in that we may lose members, and said so from a deep appreciation
for our church and a hope to preserve what we have. Others felt that if we
did not declare ourselves to be ONA we would not attract younger members,
for whom this is an issue only if we are
not
ONA, and said so from a deep appreciation for our church and a hope to build
upon what we have. One member of the committee said: “If we aren’t green
and growing, we are brown and dead.”
Mark shared some of the
work that the Deacons are currently studying on church size issues, and read
from “Raising the Roof” by Alice Mann. Mark spoke of what Mann calls “Golden
Rule” Christians, which make up a large section of mainline churches. He
quoted from the book (p.40) "Golden Rule Christians often exhibit an
appealing modesty about their faith. Where this reticence is more intense,
however, leaders may vehemently reject invitational outreach of any kind . .
. this "allergic" reaction stands in in tension with other core values of
the Golden Rule path, such as offering a caring welcome for newcomers in the
community . . . Congregations that want to show hospitality to the stranger
may need to build a more visible path (metaphorically and literally) to the
doors of their spiritual home and provide more explanation about their faith
tradition for those who do appear on their doorstep. But the "allergy" must
be addressed in order for this kind of outreach to occur."
We recognize that each of
us comes to church for different reasons and it is important to honor those
differences. We understand the importance in hearing from people with
different experiences and we agreed that having members of the LGBT
community speak with us soon would be critical. It will be important to
hear actual stories from real people.
We feel that the ONA
committee has already brought some important changes to our church. Folks
are engaged in a deep way around what they believe.
Moving on from the
debriefing, the group then discussed how welcoming is our church. While
progress has been made – large print bulletins, no wine at Communion,
inclusive language in bulletins, to name a few – some areas are still of
concern for some of us. Just as young families with small children know
they are welcome because we advertise childcare available, we need some
explicit way to welcome those who may have felt excluded at other churches,
often an experience of LGBT folks. As one of us noted, “to welcome” is a
verb that requires action.
We discussed the concern
of “singling out” a particular group in our efforts to welcome all. The ONA
process focuses on LGBT people because these are folks the Christian church
has specifically excluded from full life and leadership over the years.
We agreed to continue to
discuss in future meetings how welcoming is our church.
The next meeting of the
ONA Ad Hoc Committee (Session 6) will take place on Sunday, February 26,
immediately following worship in the LTMH.
Ann offered a closing
prayer and the meeting adjourned at 8:00 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phippsburg Congregational
Church (UCC)
ONA Ad Hoc Committee
Minutes of Meeting,
February 26, 2012
Present: Sally Gray,
Heather Hietala, Beth Hood, Dill Paiste, Leigh Preston, Bob Reyes (via
Skype), Chuck Saufler (via conference call), Ann Schroeder, Tina Tucker and
Mark Wilson (ex officio)
Sally offered an opening
prayer at 11:40 a.m.
The group discussed the
reading “Answers to Your Questions About Sexual Orientation and
Homosexuality” by Stephen Blommer. All agreed this provided a good overview
on the multi-dimensions of human sexuality. We all have a sexual
orientation, a biological sex, a gender identity, and a social gender role.
The article explained that one’s sexual orientation is not something that a
person can change; we are who we are. We appreciated that this article
emphasized that “there is no evidence indicating that homosexuals are more
likely than heterosexuals to molest children.” We noted the importance of
knowing folks who are gay and lesbian as a way of addressing the learned
behaviors of stereotyping. One of us pointed out that hate crime laws have
become even more comprehensive since this article’s publication date of
1994.
The committee briefly
discussed the two other articles we read: “Homosexuality and the Bible” by
Arnold Isidore Thomas and “On a Journey Toward Self-Naming” by Margarita
Suarez. The Thomas piece, in particular, reminded us that the Bible is not a
static document, but something that evolves. “God is still speaking.” The
Suarez article highlighted how difficult one’s personal story may be as a
bisexual. Many found this article thought-provoking.
The group then
participated in the timeline exercise which asked us to remember when we
first learned that people are attracted to members of the opposite sex, to
members of the same sex, and to members of both sexes. In general, we
agreed that the earliest understanding was that people may be attracted to
members of the opposite sex. Awareness of the bisexual orientation was last
for all of us. We discussed the varying levels of acceptance of
homosexuality in our communities of origin, and we again emphasized how our
personal experiences with individuals from the LGBT community shaped our
views. We noted that the evolution of awareness has been significant with
such markers as openly gay characters on mainstream TV shows (“Will and
Grace,” for example).
We agreed to hold the
“button activity” for next time. Bob explained that this will be an exercise
in which we will wear a button of our choosing (buttons such as “Don’t
Assume I’m Heterosexual” or “It’s Only Love” or the pink triangle) for a day
and report back on reactions and our own experiences.
In other business, we
agreed at a later meeting to revisit the question of “how welcoming is our
church,” a topic we addressed partially in our last meeting. Our next
discussion of this topic will include a more structured examination of what
we do that is welcoming and what we could do that would be more welcoming.
In looking ahead to our
next sessions, we learned that March 4 and March 18 will include speakers at
worship. At the May 20 congregational meeting there will be an opportunity
for feedback with the ONA Ad Hoc Committee. The next meeting of the ONA Ad
Hoc Committee will be March 18 after worship (11:30 am) in the LTMH. The
topic is sexism, heterosexism, and homophobia. Small groups are asked to
meet sometime before April 1 to discuss personal stories related to LGBT
folks we know. The groups may choose to use the time line exercise to begin
discussion.
Sally offered a closing
prayer and the meeting adjourned at 1:00 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Phippsburg Congregational Church (UCC)
ONA Ad
Hoc Committee
Minutes
of Meeting, March 18, 2012
Present: Sally Gray, Heather Hietala, Beth Hood, Berenice Knight, Leigh
Preston, Ann Schroeder, Sandy Stenquist, Tina Tucker and Mark Wilson (ex
officio)
Mark
offered an opening prayer at 11:30 a.m. and thanked Sandy Stenquist for the
moving testimony she had provided in worship.
Berenice asked for debriefing on Sandy’s presentation. Berenice noted what
a celebration it is to have another member of the congregation willing to
stand up and tell her story. Every time one more person shares her or his
story, one more person joins in this effort. The committee expressed their
appreciation to Sandy and emphasized the power of a positive example. Sandy
reflected on her message of God’s inclusive love. She also noted that after
worship a couple approached her who were visiting today and said they have
been looking for a church. After hearing the message they heard today, they
knew they were home. Individual stories are so important to share because
they make the message personal.
The
group discussed briefly plans for the small group activities (groups are
meeting in the next few weeks). Small groups will share personal stories of
LGBT folks we know. The Understanding Heterosexual Privilege activity will
be used as an opening exercise.
Heather
passed out buttons for folks to wear for one day at some point between now
and the next meeting on April 22. We should note any comments we receive
about the button, any thoughts that we have wearing the button, and if we
choose not to wear the button, any comments on that choice. Buttons ranged
from rainbow buttons to ones with messages such as “Don’t Assume I’m
Heterosexual.”
The
group discussed readings for this session on “Sexism, Heterosexism, and
Homophobia.” One reading, “Healing Broken People,” by Kenneth Orth, focuses
on the church’s role as an agent of healing. “To be a truly healing
community in Christ, we are called to undo and heal the damage of the
judgmental community of faith from which many of us have come.” Naming is
so important because through naming we can move to healing. Another
reading, “Rejoicing in Difference,” by Owen Thomas, emphasizes that
conversations make this topic personal, not abstract. Thomas points out
that “The suspicion, fear and hatred of the ‘other’ is the fundamental
disease of the world today.” In a third reading, “Demonstrating Grace,”
Donald Brown and Dieter Hessel underscore that “heterosexually-oriented
persons who learn and serve together with persons who are gay or lesbian
will find themselves being ministered to by the courage, grace, and humor of
people who know oppression firsthand.” One committee member attested this
was exactly her experience. The article also outlined “some of the
irrational and dishonest dimensions of fear and guilt that all too often
captivate our thought and behavior.” If we can name these sources of fear,
we can move away from homophobia. The members of the committee agreed that
these were among the best readings we have encountered so far in this
process. We also appreciated two additional readings Tina provided on
heterosexual privilege.
The
next meeting of the ONA Ad Hoc Committee will take place on Sunday, April
22, immediately following worship in the LTMH. We will share a pot-luck
lunch. Our topic will be Family and Relationships. Before that meeting,
small groups will have held their meetings, and we will also hear from Lisa
Garside in worship on March 25.
Mark
offered a closing prayer and the meeting adjourned at 1:00 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather
Hietala
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Phippsburg Congregational
Church (UCC)
ONA Ad Hoc Committee
Minutes of Meeting, April
22, 2012
Present: Sally Gray,
Heather Hietala, Beth Hood, Berenice Knight, Bob Reyes, Ann Schroeder, Sandy
Stenquist, Tina Tucker and Mark Wilson (ex officio)
Dill offered an opening
prayer at 11:50 a.m. The group shared a pot-luck meal. Bob noted that both
Chuck Saufler and Leigh Preston have had to step down from the committee
because of other pressing time demands. The group commended both
individuals for their thoughtful contributions to this process. The ONA Ad
Hoc Committee welcomes new members to join at any time.
Bob asked for feedback on
the small group gatherings as well as on Lisa Garside’s presentation. In
general, the small groups were not as well attended this time.
Approximately 13 people participated in one of the three small group
sessions held. The committee agreed to review the small group process for
the final small group session on the ONA outline (viewing of the movie Call
Me Malcolm later in the process). Everyone who had a chance to hear Lisa
Garside appreciated her comments, her direct approach, and the power of her
story.
The committee discussed
the “button exercise.” Some of us chose to wear the rainbow button, a
button that said “don’t assume I’m heterosexual,” and other similar
buttons. Others chose not to wear these. The purpose of the exercise was
to help us understand the experience of LGBT persons. While some viewed
this activity as a bit provocative, we agreed that it made us think about
assumptions we make about the experiences of LBGT folks.
The group then discussed
two readings: “Family Reunion, Family Values,” by Rita M. Kissen and “What
Is A Closet?” by Timothy Tutt. The Kissen piece offers a moving comment on
one modern family’s experience of a family comprised of children from
different marriages, including a lesbian daughter/step-daughter. The Tutt
piece spoke of the experience of a gay, black man in Iowa coming out of the
closet, and clarifies how a closet may still exist to allow room for the
fact that we cannot always bring the fullness of our being to every
situation. Because these articles have helped the committee members
understand the personal experience of LGBT folks, we commend them to the
wider congregation. In particular, Kissen’s piece, originally published in
the Portland Herald Press, will be available in the narthex with copies of
these minutes.
Mark presented an overview
of Biblical messages about relationships and families. All of us are set in
the context of many different relationships (between us and God, between us
and other people, etc.) and we play varying roles in these relationships.
When we practice justice and fairness in each of these relationships in
which we are set, Biblically-speaking, we are in right-relatedness (or
righteousness). In Romans 8, Paul speaks of the church being a family
gathered around the first born, Jesus. John 1 speaks about “children born
of God.” Like the GLBT community, which in many cases has had to form its
own family, the church is called to be a family based on love, not biology.
Mark 3 has Jesus, when he is told his mother, sisters, and brothers are
looking for him, gesture to those gathered around him and exclaim: "Who is
my mother? Who are my brothers and sisters, but those who do the will of
God?" Again, the implication is clear: Jesus calls us into a family based
on doing God's will. We hear a lot about "Family Values" (which are usually
anti-GLBT), but within the Christian story, the definition of "family" is
far from the traditional, nuclear-family model.
The next meeting of the
ONA Ad Hoc Committee will take place on Wednesday, May 16, at 6:00 p.m. Our
topic will be Youth and LGBT Issues. We will also look at the
"It Gets Better" website directed at GLBTQ -
Questioning youth:
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/. In
June, we will add another session to the process outline to discuss further
“How Welcoming Is Our Church?” The next opportunity for congregational
feedback will be May 20 after the congregational meeting. Dill offered a
closing prayer and the meeting adjourned at 1:30 p.m.
Respectfully submitted,
Heather Hietala